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Ahh truly the season of change.

I never thought my “Falling Out or Falling Back” chapter of “From Darkness To Sunshine” would be so prophetic and leading into my second book.

But here we are.

You look at your long lost friends on social media having fun. Some is because they’re in a different area code now. Others is because they excluded you. Either way it hurts.

The best thing to do is to rekindle things with the friends that you haven’t hung with in a while. If they are resistant, you must take your L and move on. I have more of a series coming to deal with exclusion during the social season.

Basically, know your worth and don’t be afraid to retool your circle. Everyone won’t stay loyal and many will eventually come back. You have to focus on the ones that reciprocate your interests. Hang with the ones with a future and not a past.

There are plenty of outlets to hang out and meet people so don’t fret. You don’t have to sit around and be sad looking at pics forever. You have your memories and the best gift: the present. Present day of course.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

This is not something that I like to explain, not even to my own mother. But here we are still feeling the need to break it down.

There are several definitions on the web, even a PDF. But here’s my basic definition of white privilege.

White privilege is when you are of predominantly Caucasian heritage and have never had to experience the pain, looks, and behaviors around you that blacks and other cultures have had to in order to survive. You haven’t had to discern whom is racist against you and will destroy your whole existence based on your look alone. When the police pulls you over, you have a greater chance of living or being let off with a warning.

It’s like Chris Rock says, many Caucasian people do not have to even know who a black person is unless they are in power. Black people have to not only know, but know how to act accordingly. I saw another comedian, Deon Cole, say that black people have to know how to control their “blackness”. Save for racial slurs and other remarks, white people don’t have to do this.

They can walk in the store with four or more of their friends and not get questioned nor followed. They don’t have to ask for a bag when they’re just getting a pack of gum out of fear of stealing. They can look at a black man or woman without getting naughty looks. They can even vote and support a president like a Trump or a Bush and not get accosted.

Everyone that has white privilege certainly isn’t racist. They simply need education and guidelines to being culturally diverse. It’s not easy for a person of color, especially in certain regions and states. Many people still haven’t arrived.

Ask at the proper place and time, perhaps not during this weekend’s Final Four, but continue having these conversations. This will continue to break the racial divide and help us to understand each other.

Sometimes, race does unfortunately matter and cannot be ignored. Everyone needs to be on the same page so that we all know where and when and act accordingly.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

The last few years in politics could have demonstrated this. However, there are several factors and scenarios that show when we are on different levels from a person.

For instance, the movie “Us” by Jordan Peele released this week. It was a different type of horror/thriller, one that makes you think and where a 2nd viewing may be necessary.

I saw it Thursday, enjoyed it and was intrigued. Then I saw reviews all weekend, some saying it was bad just because they couldn’t fully grasp the concept.

It showed a divide: between thinkers and analyzers and those that like to take in things simply as entertainment.

Now there is nothing wrong with either category, it’s a differentiation is all. You have to remember who you are and know that you will not get everything and vice versa.

For example, I cannot get Snapchat filters (or Snapchat period), why women cannot let the toilet seat down, how people can be late for work daily and many other things. These are classic divides but I don’t let these things stop me from communicating with others effectively.

We should accept and embrace each other’s differences, unless they are deadly. I think it’s truly time for everyone to visit the Museum of Tolerance.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

I have said in “From Darkness To Sunshine” and other places that spin offs are often the best types of friendships and connections.

A spinoff to me is a connection formed from another connection or as the result of a current connection.

For me, this has worked out well with one of my favorite families: The Sansings.

They are family to me. I attend their birthday parties, anniversary parties, Thanksgiving and other holidays. They are the first I buy Girl Scout cookies from since they’re a huge Girl Scout family. I have also supported their business ventures through the decades, their current one being their food truck, Aunt B’s Hog Wild BBQ.

Through this, I discovered we have a coffee shop and used bookstore in Blacksburg. This place is owned and operated by Thomas and Vanessa Dover. Over the past year in business, I have become close to them. Due to my schedule, I am usually only able to see them on Friday nights, and the occasional weekday when I am off and they are open.

But thus far Tommy and Vanessa and their little girls have become near and dear to my heart. I support them as a business and as friends. When the town tried to come against them last month, I was slow to find out but resounding in my defense. I am proud of them for being in business for 1 year and for the atmosphere and culture they have built that extends beyond some of the best coffee you will find and safe, comfortable, surroundings.

They have also helped the local Chinese place, Joy Wok, gain more business as many Wisefire customers order from there. They also fervently work to improve and restore downtown Blacksburg and work in accordance with some of the popular town events. Furthermore, they support other local businesses such as Christy Gibson, former owner of Sweets On Main and Moxie Made Bakery by Jennifer Childers.

I have other great spin offs but this is my latest and greatest one. I love being around folks in a safe environment where I can voice my views and unwind from a tough day or week. Tommy and Vanessa have provided this and more. I want to say thank you to them and congratulations on a successful first year in business.

Also, thanks to Bryna Sansing “Aunt B” for introducing me to them and Wisefire Cafe. These are some of the benefits of connecting with others and freeing up yourself.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

Any word, action, place or even occurrence can trigger a negative experience or memory and throw you off track.

Knowing common trigger words and phrases are one thing. Trying to learn them or refusing to learn them is another.

For example, we’ll go with teaching someone to drive. This is a task everyone definitely isn’t built for. It takes a lot of patience, overall knowledge and experience and understanding where your student is and how they are.

I learned years ago even saying a simple “WHOA” goes a long way. You want to be more encouraging, using positive reinforcement, starting them slow and steady and not raising your voice.

People have all sorts of demons and stuff that has happened to them or certain insecurities. They also have hot buttons. Knowing and gauging what makes them uncomfortable is of extreme importance. You can be considered a mean, condescending bully if you know what bothers a person and you continue to nag them and poke at them. That part isn’t cool.

Friday was International Women’s Day and dealing with women definitely isn’t one of my strong points. But I have learned often that less is more in regarding to talking and to listen as much as possible. Obviously referring to a random woman in a sexual or overpowering manner isn’t condoned. Keeping it basic and polite is best until you reach a certain level. For instance, I have a female friend that got mad I didn’t tell her her booty was increasing. I told her I couldn’t and don’t just do that. But she’s different and expects people to be more open with her.

Therefore know the person and know yourself. Fall back and be very generic if you sense a lot of tension. Relax and breathe. Most of all, enjoy the company of others!

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

Someone had actually asked me why I don’t post more about alcohol. Well for starters I do not drink it, except for medicinal purposes.

However, I do realize that a small sum is a good and healthy way to take the edge off after a long day, week, or a stressful situation.

I am not in favor of getting sloppily drunk and it impairs your judgment and memory. It is interesting, however, how much more honest people are with you when they are inebriated.

Flu season is still upon us and congestion and sinuses have hit me. I medicate primarily with moonshine, the original alcohol and cold medicine. It cleans your veins, removes infection and is so strong that you may not want to drink too much unless you’re staying inside and not driving.

Alcohol, like food, will draw a crowd, period. Many festive activities involve spirits and adult beverages. My father actually had a cough syrup addiction (and I mean the strong stuff that you get from the doctor, not Tussin). I keep cough syrup in the rotation as well, but I don’t drink it like he once did.

Therefore, drink responsibly and in moderation. And of course if you’re a recovering alcoholic, it’s best you’re not even around the smell.

Drink up, turn up, have fun and be safe!

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

I wish it were too.

Jussie Smollett may be one of the latest celebrities to show such immorality but what about the rest of folks, especially the Internet?

Yes the Internet and social media are both unforgiving and have no chill. Matter of fact, myself and some friends were sitting around the other night sharing various memes, including those including Jussie. While those are admittedly funny, it seems the world is retaliating to his immoral acts by bullying and accosting him.

Now in no way do I endorse or condone Smollett’s actions. But two wrongs do not make a right.

I learned something at a young age. Sometimes you need a caring shoulder and ear. Other times you need a swift kick in the rear. Jussie needs both.

He was crying out for attention and more pay on his show “Empire.” Instead he disgraced his communities and himself.

He should be punished appropriately but he should be subject to some counseling as a result. This isn’t your usual criminal act, this is a psychological and an emotional act. I know how hard it is to be a black man in society. He is also openly gay, which is still not widely accepted. Therefore, he needs all the support we can.

In conclusion, we should seek solutions for these types of folks, real ones that will rehabilitate them. Smollett plays a gay, troubled character on Empire and he seems that way in real life. Why else would you want to literally beat yourself up?

Thinking anything else would be a Jussie lie! Forgive this man, and seek to help him. Laugh with him more than at him. Know that his actions warrant consequences but he needs to be forgiven and given the opportunity for help. That is also the society we live in.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

The first lesson here is to know who is really building your community and the logistics of how and why it got to this point and why progress isn’t being made.

A lot can relate to not having adequate facts in front of you and just believing anything you hear or see, especially on the Internet and social media.

My friends and business owners Thomas and Vanessa Dover of Wisefire Cafe in Blacksburg, SC experienced this over the Valentine’s/All-Star weekend. I referenced the story on my FB vlog also.

Police chief Jamie Ham was doing a good thing for the homeless by providing them an overnight place to stay during the cold, no questions asked. Well some nights, especially Fridays, Wisefire is open late due to several activities and specials Thomas has going on. Some of these homeless people have actually been friendly and harmless.

However, when one of them went rogue and manic, Dover was forced to take action and file a complaint to protect the business, his patrons and his family. He did not want the shelter closed or the homeless to be left high and dry. He simply wanted safety and boundaries.

Well after filing complaints to the proper authorities, Chief Ham closes the shelter. He does not get the blame but Dover does and the town does a verbal witchhunt on him, threatening to boycott the shop, calling him unkind names, and wanting the shop closed. Many of these complain came from members of the “old boy network” that had never even been inside of his shop.

Thomas handled the complaints well, set the record straight and invited anyone to come into his shop to talk further. Chief Ham came by early Friday morning to apologize personally and to take credit online for what happened. Both men had the same intent but it seems the newer guy (Dover)became the scapegoat.

Now lend me your eyes and ears. How in the world is the town going to grow if its residents continue this sort of behavior? They aren’t aiding much in the homeless, drug, nor overall safety and business issues. They seem to want Blacksburg to stay dark and boring, which is even more unsafe for the homeless and teenagers alive.

Thomas has given a breath of fresh air to Blacksburg, SC by providing coffee, snacks, books and a warm, cozy environment with loyal regulars (myself included) to brighten up things. He is about being apart of the solution and keeping things civil.

We as a society must be more compassionate. First, know what you’re talking about first before you hide behind technology and bash him. Second, talk to him personally if you have a problem. Third, get involved and lend a helping hand if you’re not already doing so. There are clear and simple reasons why change does not occur and it’s showing.

I am just about done here and I feel the Dovers are also. We all want to move forward with our professional and personal lives. There will be other hiccups but if people will help out more instead of criticizing, we can all achieve more and have Blacksburg be the envy of nearby small towns such as Shelby, York and Clover. It is right off the Interstate so it is in a perfect area. Now is the time to clean up in front of the porch, work on solutions for these various problems and support these local businesses.

Ok let’s love each other and put in that work!

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #coffeemanbad

Between the Netflix hit “Abducted In Plain Sight”, the R. Kelly drama, and these local pastors recently being busted for statutory rape, you really can’t trust your children with anyone.

Guess what readers, my mom never did.

When in public, my mother didn’t take her eyes off of us as small boys. She ain’t didn’t trust anyone but my grandma or older cousin to babysit. We didn’t even do many sleepovers. Many may think this is extreme and overbearing. However my mom wasn’t taking any chances. As my brother and I grew older and attracted older women, she didn’t like that either.

I said it before: we need more parents with that forward thinking, common sense approach.

Please stop trusting anyone and everyone to watch after your kids. Don’t let them run all over the streets at night or while you’re at work. Get then involved in sports, community and church activities (obviously screen all of this in advance). They deserve a safe, loving, nurturing environment.

I see pets and animals treated better now than most children. Now while I adore my pets, why can’t we use this same energy with our kids?

We are the first to complain about society and the newer generation. However, we are the last to take blame or responsibility for how they were reared and watched.

Also, we have to become a strong community again and stop being divided over petty issues. Stop crying over the kids being hurt or killed when you didn’t do all you could do. It takes a village and no one wants to see their loved ones hurt. Let’s end this now!

These are small solutions and I plan to come up with bigger, long term solutions. But in short, watch your kids!

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

This has been long overdue in the small town of Gaffney, SC. Over the past couple of years, this tight knit Upstate city has been hit hard with shooting tragedies and deaths.

I reflect very hard on this as I come upon the toughest day of the year for me, 1/28. I watched the pain in two ladies’s eyes as they had to do the same as I did with my brother: say goodbye. Their brother was one of many lost to senseless gun violence recently. It has gotten so bad that when I’m in Gaffney late, I’m very careful about where I go and who I’m with.

Now I have had my own criticisms of Gaffney, SC. But the fact is there is a very strong spirit of love, togetherness, and family. You may get asked questions about who you’re related to and who your people are. But they typically treat you well overall as long as you treat them the same. They are actually some of the most kind and good hearted people you will find. It simply seems there are evil forces that exists in and out of the city.

The sheriff election last year caused a lot of uproar since many wanted a change due to all of the violence and they didn’t feel like the Gaffney PD was doing enough to end it. Taking away guns, arresting perps or even closing certain nightspots have proved to only be temporary fixes. Now there needs to be solutions, stronger community watch programs, definite gun control, and more checkpoints in these rougher areas to start with.

I have always regularly seen children playing in Gaffney even past dark. Over the past two years, this has ceased. I don’t see many people spending as much time in Gaffney outside of their own home. That hurts the local economy of course. I realize the police force is understaffed, but there needs to be a greater concentration on ending these violent threats and folks.

The community will have to stand together as they always have. This can end!

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine