My love language

I have a specific way of showing folks I love them and not just by telling them.

My love language is sending you money for lunch just because. Also, sharing and caring in many different ways. It may be a random phone call, text or message. It may be listening to you vent when I know good and well I need to wake up early in the morning. It could be giving you a hug. It’s showing up to your events and milestones. It’s supporting your business or cause. It’s making sure you’re never forgotten nor left out.

I definitely want everyone to know how much I love them. It’s definitely a show and tell type of deal.

What’s your love language?

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

Lab rats!

I’ve been called many many names. Now I’m fully vaccinated from COVID-19, add lab rat to that list.

It seems certain groups of anti-vaxxers, many being conservatives, have taken to calling those that get the vaccine lab rats, commies, etc.

Let me remind you all that you are no better. You are being cruel, foul bullies and need to stop it now.

I think it’s ironic that you are the people that have been complaining for over a year about the government controlling your lives and calling professionals like Dr. Fauci a socialist fraud.

First of, since when do you allow elected officials, many of whom are white privileged boomers, dictate your health and wellness decisions? Secondly, why is someone that wishes to get vaccinated any of your business? Finally, some of you claim to be good folks and Christians. Would Jesus Christ demonize folks for this choice? I don’t think so and neither should you?

This pandemic has definitely brought out the worst in folks and shown me who I would rather not associate with a lot or at all. So yes I’m fully vaccinated. Yes I’m a lab rat. I’m also informed, compassionate, have common sense and don’t allow any government or media to control me. I also don’t bully others because it isn’t cool.

I will end this by saying “as you were,..”

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

The real influence of words and branding.

There is definitely a lot of power in words. The power is intensified when a celebrity uses it or gets behind it.

You’re seeing a lot of folks using “expeditiously” so much just because of TI. And this word has been around for so long. Same with swagger and many other words. I can already tell that when a word or phrase gets popular, I seek out the celebrity that made it popular.

Folks drink Hennessy and call it a fine whiskey because of Snoop Dogg and Nas. Nikes weren’t worn widespread until Michael Jordan released his shoes. Name recognition is one of the keys to getting a product or phrase notoriety. It doesn’t have to be a great product either. People look up to and admire others. Sometimes a celebrity will do or say something unintentionally and then it catches on.

I just like for folks to be individuals and be themselves. Outside of the Lord and your parents, your biggest motivation should be yourself. You should ask yourself who is saying these words and why? What show/movie did that quote come from? Ask yourself why and then look deep inside yourself. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with that person and no cause for judgment is necessary. It’s a thinking point is all.

Social media has fueled this fire. It determines oftentimes who should be praised and who shouldn’t when folks can’t make up their mind.

Think about this next time you’re talking to someone or typing a text or message. Look at the words you’re using, the language and why. It may tell a lot about yourself or very little

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

Being corrected

Many of us do not like to be corrected. More of us hate to be called out. Few really hate to be wrong.

We are all wrong at some point and need correction and guidance through our life. If you aren’t getting that, someone doesn’t truly value your feelings. This is not up for debate.

I saw on social media where my cousin’s son was cutting up in public. He’s only 3 and typically a good child. He has been acting out as of late. Therefore she took him into the ladies room and “corrected” him. You definitely have to teach a child young and have those tough conversations and moments. This makes them a strong and more respectful adult.

The world does change and as you learn, you will make more mistakes. If you aren’t properly corrected or if your behavior isn’t addressed, then it will continue to happen. I try to be even keeled with folks: praising them but also giving them sage wisdom and advice so I’m not leading them wrong. In short, sometimes you deserve a pat on the back. Other times you deserve a pat somewhere else.

I recently called out some heinous behavior I experienced. I passively called out the person but I focused on the behavior. I have found that’s one of the best places to start; the behavior and how to correct it. The person may not receive it well so you have to address it appropriately.

Let us all be coachable and correctable. This allows us to be better people and better friends, spouses, parents and coworkers.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

We’re Gonna Wait

This is never easy for even the most patient person.

I am trying to get my weight down, fix stuff around my home, get my mom the medical help she needs, and get some work documents improve.

I just have to remember what I heard my Aunt Margaret say. We’re going wait.

Sometimes that’s all we do is wait.

You do all you can far as putting in the effort, making the phone calls, having the proper documentation. It’s not always going to be instant.

Think of this way also. You’re waiting on a meal such as a juicy steak or a lasagna to cook. That’s now a fast process and it will take time. That’s when patience is a virtue.

The Good Lord has a timetable for things and knows what we can handle. We have to trust in Him and know he already has it worked out. We simply have to do the best we can do.

Until then, we don’t give up and we simply wait.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

Being that one

We have that one (or more) people in our life that is a role model, guiding light and sense of motivation. They’re who we vent to, go for comfort and for truth.

My Aunt Margaret Gaines was that for me and more. It will hurt me for a while that I can’t pick up the phone and call her just to talk.

Therefore, make yourself available to others to talk and be open. Treat those folks as they wish to be treated and as you wish to be treated. Be honest with folks and have caring words.

You want to really ensure you know that person and are interested in their life. Don’t steer them wrong in your advice and words. Do let then be adults and respect their decision.

Check on them randomly and do random acts of kindness. They should be able to feel and know your love.

I’m grateful that so many such as my precious Aunt Margaret have poured into me or listened to me vent. I hope I can or continue to be a shining light for someone else in need.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

Margaret McGill Gaines: So Many Words

It’s always kind and positive words when one speaks about my departed Aunt Margaret McGill Gaines.

She was that person: Proverbs 31 woman; always staying in touch; very loving and inspiring; true example of what a Godly person is; and just an awesome gem of a person.

This is an especially hard loss for me, especially since we had such a close bond. Coupled with losing my cousin/her son G to COVID just a month ago, it’s a lot on my entire family.

Aunt Margaret was simply a shining example of positively and treating folks as they should be treated. She always knew the right words to say to someone regardless of the situation. She truly believed in equality also. She was born with many strikes against her and things could have went South. Aunt Margaret chose to accept Jesus Christ into her life and was a relentless spiritual warrior until she took her last breath.

She simply helped and poured into so many people: family, church folks, at her jobs, the schools, etc. It’s safe to say there will not be another like her and she’s rejoicing in Heaven.

Auntie was also a relentless worker.. She literally was employed most of her life; textile mills and later on returning to school and becoming a teacher’s assistant. She kept working after retirement as a substitute teacher and then COVID hit. Ironically that’s what took her out.

We could all benefit from the strength, grace and peace this woman possessed. She seemed to always bounce back and would inspire you when you thought you were trying to help her.

Rest in Power Aunt Margaret! I will miss our conversations and visits and I know you’re looking over us all now!

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

The silent P

There’s no question people often see what they want to see. Moreover, it’s what they feel and associate with.

Decades later, many, many Winthrop alumns still think Thomson Hall (where “the Cafe” is) is spelled with a “P”. Being the grammar nerd I am, this still drives me bats. The name is clearly embroidered on both sides of the Hall. Also the proper spelling is in every brochure.

I then had to step back and think. Many, many associate Thompson with being spelled and pronounced with a P. That is honestly the 2nd time I have seen it without one. The silent “P” resonates mostly due to past experiences than what is actually shown in broad daylight.

I then saw a much hyped film on Netflix this weekend “Malcolm and Marie”. I was warned that it was about a toxic relationship, it would drain you, and you may feel some type of way afterwards.

I watched it, had my coping mechanisms all ready. It was a well written film and the acting was good. However both, especially the male, were overly dramatic. There was clearly a lot of unresolved mess in that relationship but to me, the film only shown bits and pieces of any abuse or toxicity. I left feeling unphased.

Bear in mind I am a writer that has experienced a ton of verbal abuse in various venues. I have also attended one act plays, love theatre, and am a forensics junkie. Therefore with all of this, I felt like much more could have been added to really make the audience feel the toxicity. It seemed more like an overly dramatic one act play that watered down the experience for the audience. That’s how I feel and it doesn’t mean I am wrong.

The point (with a P) here is that we see things through different lenses and that’s OK. We are not meant to be the same or to live in an echo chamber. Our experiences are what shapes up and makes us who we are as individuals. Both scenarios are different but show the results of having our own experiences and expectations. You are or will not see that “P” unless it is in your subconscious. To further my point, remember the “magic eye” pictures from the early 90s? Some people saw the same image, others saw nothing, some saw something different. It honestly meant something was there. Only that not everyone could see it.

Therefore really sit back and think before you expect everyone to see or feel what you’re supposed to feel. Unless they share every experience or trait you have, chances are they may miss something.

Understanding a person and communication goes a long way.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

Following Directions

I’m pretty sure I have referenced this more than twice in my writings and it’s importance.

Ok well social media has brought back more challenges: then and now, bussit and silhouette. I decided to do a #followingdirectionschallenge and see how it would go.

I have noticed if you ask someone to pick between Coke and Pepsi, someone is gonna say Dr. Pepper or RC Cola. Well I decided to make it clearer and if you did not follow directions in your response, it would be removed. Thus far, I’ve had nearly 50 responses and only 2 people failed to follow directions.

My hypothesis: people can follow directions when they choose to or are motivated. I speak about this with my coworkers when we train delivery drivers. Many of our trainees simply aren’t getting it or understanding, even after we break it down. Some people aren’t going to listen regardless (like those that refuse to wear a mask or social distance) and it’s interesting.

I just wouldn’t want to taste your cooking if you cannot follow directions. If it’s more of a freelance thing, that’s different. How hard is it really to follow directions? I will do more tests and find out?

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes #followingdirectionschallenge

Greg “G-Baby” Gaines: The Man’s Man, extrovert, family guy and very forward

It’s nice when some posts write themselves. This one of my cousin G definitely does that.

Many around the area and in the transportation world knew my cousin Greg “G-Baby” Gaines well. He never met a stranger, was confident and the life of the party but always willing to lend a helping hand to anyone in need.

He had a checkered past and made mistakes in his younger years. He bounced back and grew up, showing folks can change. He grew into an beloved and awesome son, father, grandpa (G-Paw), uncle, brother,husband, cousin and friend. He is loved and at worst respected by all that knew him.

G had a very nice gift of gab and could talk to anyone about anything. It could be about his kids, ladies, his beloved Dallas Cowboys, school, or doing the right things in life. He was the first person to tell me I look like our grandma Ellie Mae and I haven’t been able to unsee it.

He gave to many in need through community service or helping out someone else. If you called him for help, especially as a youth, he rarely if ever turned you down. He wanted to be there for so many.

His forward, confident nature didn’t vibe with everyone. You respected his hustle, flex and honesty at day’s end though. He had a grown man swagger and kindness that is unmatched.

G was not scared to call you on your crap, especially if he didn’t think you were reaching your full potential or you were headed down a bad path. It could get annoying but the dude cared.

It’s sad that he was a statistic to COVID-19. Perhaps it could inspire more to take the virus seriously since he did have quite a reach and platform. Right now is a time of mourning and celebration.

So for those that were closest to him: his cousins that he grew up with, parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, aunts, uncles and of course his wife. Continue to share pics and videos of G being G: laughing, smiling, helping others and of course dancing. He lived quite a good life despite many odds and that should be celebrated.

This is the saddest week for me with so many deaths, the Challenger and of course my brother’s death. It will serve as a reminder that death doesn’t have to be dark and scary. It’s a time of rejoicing and knowing where you can end up if your heart is pure and you live a proper life.

Rest In Power Gregory Lamar Gaines 1969-2021. As you would say “it’ll be a dun ball” when we reunite.

#imjustdrew #RIPGBABY #fromdarktosunshine