The fire inside me burns deep. I thought hard when I made that leap. I knew it was a risk. I didn’t mind since I wanted more than a kiss. I was willing to be cool with hanging. The times definitely are a changing. Now I’m hurt, bitter, angry and alone. This hits me right to the bone. You do no good by being fake. You couldn’t even remember my birthday cake. My grandpa said year ago watch those that smile a lot. They’re often in pain, up to something and are something they’re not. Think of clowns, Robin Williams and the Joker. I don’t want to be the poker. This is the bear and I have to tell. I want this battle inside of me to dispel. I want to feel joy and happy again. You can still do it; we can both win. I forgive easily but I will not be the fool. You will get mad and call me a tool. Doesn’t matter because I’m not at war here. I just want my forever dear. Heck all I asked for was dinner and drinks. Are you getting rid of the bar? You will see me from afar. Oh you will party but with me it’s a battle. I won’t be treated like cattle. Bye for now, I must retreat. This is more devastating than the August heat
You don’t seem to get me. Desire me, continue to live care free. I just wanted to hang and vibe. You make it seem like this is a bribe. I can see if there’s no appeal. I can’t see why you couldn’t just be real. Being nice is cool but honesty is king. I called and you let your phone ring. You partied with other guys while a real man awaited. Was my birthday wish met to be belated? It seems so. I can see the answer is no. Will I give you another chance? Unsure if my heart can take more hurt in advance. Give me another sign, reach out. You leave too much doubt. I think we may have to separate. You are always too late. I need a woman not an unsure child. Your headspace is much too wild. I need love and peace. You bring me drama despair and a lease. I want to buy and you’re not letting me rent. Got my nose wide open and neck all bent. Either way, it doesn’t look well. As always, time will tell. I will heal and be ok. I’m a great guy and I don’t care what you say
This poem is very interpretative and open but it’s dedicated to the memory of my recently deceased friend Big Mike Smith. He definitely was a man’s man that wasn’t afraid of emotion and neither am I.
The side of your face and that smile. Why couldn’t we just keep you for a while? You lit up the room like a festival of lights. You braved the storms, fought many fights. There were no enemies in sight. Making for a smooth and easy plight. I’m happy that I knew you and you were here. I will definitely hold your memory dear. Game films and pictures are gold. There will continue to be many tales of you told. You may have went to your forever home. Your presence and vibe will forever roam. Wherever there’s a football, towel or even a star. We all know you’re not far. None of wanted you to go. You left so fast you didn’t want us to know. You can be the true star from above. Always having the shine and love. You will forever be missed. Now you have your crown and no more being dismissed.
Rest in Power my guy and thanks for all of the kind words!
#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes