Author: imjustdrew

It has been a strong and valid narrative to check in on your people, make sure they’re ok. You will have that when suicide and domestic violence are all in the news and your life.

However, you shouldn’t check on people that won’t entertain you or ignore your advances.

I’m not talking about someone you’re really close to. This is for that person or people that you don’t have a really tight bond with.

There are times we fall back from folks also. When you see them out, they shouldn’t be surprised. Communication is a two way street and they have to cross it also.

Don’t feel like you’re banging your head up against the wall or beating dead horses. Be around folks that act live and alive when you’re around. If they are dead,let the sleeping dogs lie.

Also, don’t allow a tragedy or convenience to temporarily bond you. Put them to the test in good and bad. When it reaches a breaking point, it’s time to break away.

The Lord adds and removes folks for good reason. Start taking note.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

This is the best of times far as socializing and unfortunately the worst.

There are your weddings, dinner parties, cookouts and the like. It seems many folks seem greedy, wherever it be the hosts, the guests or both. Obviously no one has a problem with those hosts that give away all sorts of food and beg you to take home plates.

Here are some simple ground rules I have developed to keep the peace.

1. Unless you already know otherwise, you have been invited to a party, not to Golden Corral. So it’s best to try to keep it to one plate unless the host insists. Many times two things happens: there are more guests to feed and the food they have is all they have. All of the cooking is done and no more magical food is coming. Therefore, keep it to one plate/person.

2. Socialize and chill, don’t hover around the food. Drinks are a separate issue but the food should be kept away from, or a safe distance.

3. Don’t eat until it’s said to eat and don’t be rushing to be the first person to eat. If you’re the first person, so be it.

4. Yeah I know you figure one plate but no one said what size. One plate does not mean the size of Mount Everest. Get yourself a decent size place and step away.

5. Also, pro tip for my hosts: have servers there to serve the food if you’re concerned about portion. Lack of common sense and hunger is a bad combo so keep the servers around until everyone in the room has eaten. Do not entertain seconds until later.

6. Have a snack/finger food table to avoid hunger and over indulging. Dessert tables work well here.

7. Remain good communication and respect between you and the hosts. They invited you because they’re cool with you and don’t break that.

There are more but these are my top 7. Don’t be that greedy person that hoards food. You really should go to Golden Corral if you’re that hungry. Eat, drink and be merry but be respectful.

Ok let’s end this food fight please.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

It definitely takes a village to make a successful family, child, community and group of friends.

It’s more than your core circle, your chosen folk or whomever. We all need to be united in the purpose of helping each other and our youth. Things will not improve until we do, period.

Also, know who your own village is. I have saw firsthand this week how everyone living in the village isn’t for you. You have to ensure they have your best interests at heart and are all about supporting and empowering you. Otherwise, they’re occupying space in your life.

In short, weed out the village idiots.

You can start by being the village. It’s not much different from being a good friend. You simply have to be committed to building strong communities and bonds

We have had lots of opportunities for this: graduations, Juneteenth, 4th of July, Father’s Day and many more.

Also, speaking on great fathers, I truly believe that is a key trait in being and choosing a father figure. Ladies keep this in mind if you want to have a good father for your children, one you can brag about.

Once you become the village, the inhabitants will follow and they will literally come bearing love and fruit (fruit meaning different things). It’s that time, more than ever.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

If you haven’t seen The Color Purple all the way to the end, you may wanna stop reading now.

Ok for those that have seen it, you remember the ending scene. If you weren’t already cried out by then, the waterworks were definitely coming then.

It is definitely a good feeling to reunite with someone close to you, especially in hard times.

Some of you may not know that my uncle has been incarcerated for 16 years and it has been 14 years since my mother has seen him. Several things have stood in the way but I’m hoping she’s finally gets to see him in person. I have a hunch it will be that type of moment.

For those that are forever chanting “no new friends” and “I’m fine by myself”, chances are you haven’t experienced how full your heart can get following this type of moment.

Don’t feel ashamed. I mentioned in the last blog on checking on your people. It’s so great to talk to those you haven’t in years or see them. In many cases, it’s like you picked up where you left off.

So if you can find them, what’s stopping you? If you’re still searching for them, don’t stop. There is lots of technology now to assist in finding someone, stuff bill collectors and telemarketers have used for decades.

When you’re embracing your long lost friend in the middle of nowhere, thank me later. Fewer moments are sweeter.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

We have had two celebrity suicides this week. What will it take to get folks to check on each other regularly, recognize signs, etc?

My 40th birthday is coming up in a month and “From Darkness To Sunshine” is still fresh on the market. Therefore, I’ve been contacting folks I normally wouldn’t contact. I do more than social media. I utilize calling, texting, visiting, and of course word of mouth. Ensure your loved ones are good.

You really never know what a person is going through or what demons they are fighting. Many know I spend half of my time in the car, commuting. I often like to call folks to check in on them, or send a text. I know how it feels, and I want them to know I love them and they can contact me anytime they feel they need to talk.

Please keep this going, even when the media does not. Be that voice, that person. We need more Earth Days, and less funerals, RIPs, or GoFundMes.

This is the season for festivals, cookouts, vacations, etc. Invite them to your home, and go visit them. Make time for it.

There is a meme I detest. It basically says just because you work full time you can’t see folks like you should. Ummm, I work full time, have side income, a book to promote, a sick mother to care for, and I STILL make time for what’s important.

Please don’t take suicide or mental illness lightly. Also, manage your time well. I’m here for that also.

Be that person, that voice, during this time. Don’t let anyone slip through the cracks.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

Another high school graduation is upon us. I want to offer words of wisdom to the many grads out there, many I know personally.

We have too many people following the latest trends and the status quo. This is also called “moths to a flame”. Think about your porchlight on a hot summer evening. The moths are all crowded around.

Well I challenge you all to find your own spark. We as humans are drawn to bright and shiny things. It’s important now that you’re adulting that you become headstrong and be able to make up your own mind about what you like and want.

Now is the next step. Are you going to college just out of tradition or because you were told to? Or is it for friends? What about so you can learn? Either way, you won’t last long if you don’t want to be there and put in the work. This goes for the workforce, tech or trade school, military. Choose what you really want to do and are passionate about, and something that’s stable and you can make a good living out of.

One of my friends has her eldest son graduating. He has become really good at music and producing beats. He wants to go into musical engineering and has chosen a school that specializes in this. This is not exactly popular, but he lit his own fire.

I know of another man who is a barber that bought his son his own barbershop and taught him all of the tricks of the trade. He is now a licensed barber with his own business.

Your own spark will definitely last longer because it’s in your heart. Think of who’s “Most Likely To Succeed” in your class. I’m sure the vote wasn’t by accident. You saw that glow and drive in that person and knew they are serious about post graduate life.

So make that spark, have that spark, be that spark. Then you will draw others towards you and be a success in your own right, and light.

Congratulations Class of 2018!

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

We’re into the social season: summer vacations, the lake, beach, amusement parks, cookouts, holidays, etc.

However, we still have to realize that staying connected requires work on both ends.

I was rereading a portion of “From Darkness To Sunshine” where I advised folks to stay in touch and have updated contacted info on the ones closest to you. More than that, actually contact them every 2-4 weeks.

Obviously I’m speaking of the ones in your social circle. Anyone else needs to be accessible though.

This is one of the reasons I hate changing phone numbers. I have had the same one for nearly 5 years and many people still reference my 812 number. It can be frustrating.

Anything worth having or keeping definitely requires work. Calling, texting, social media, most importantly visiting and face to face interaction. You have to be available and make time for those important for you.

Yes you have this week blocked off and that evening. But you’re available sometime. Make something happen, even if it’s just a drink. Don’t allow anyone to fall through the cracks.

So when you’re planning excursions or looking what to do during these fun and long summer days, don’t get lazy on those you care about. On the reverse side, watch for those that act as if you don’t exist.

Take advantage of every moment you can. It could be the last.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

I love Mother’s Day. I truly do. It’s when everyone worldwide shows their love for their mother figures. For about 36-48 hours, we actually seem to put the daily negativity aside and focus on Mother, Mom, Mommy, Ma, Ma Dukes, Moms, etc.

A mother’s love is so strong and unconditional that it actually causes peace. I have witnessed it firsthand.

This is the type of love we need to have towards one another. Putting aside differences. Acting adult and not excluding anyone. This is only exceeded by the love of Jesus Christ.

It’s like The Beatles say over and over in the 60s, all we need is love. It can conquer all, heal wounds, bring us all together, and heal. Lord knows we need healing as we head into the hottest part of the year when often people forget how to behave.

Either way, please don’t forget how to love and the love of mothers. This is what it will take to heal this dissension and truly build bridges in society.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

Some of you are probably tired of people, tired of so called friends betraying you. They won’t answer calls or texts and they exclude you from group activities.

One of the best ways to distinguish your core circle/day 1s is to make a random guest list. Suppose you’re having a big VIP party/event for only your close friends. Who would you invite.

My circles go in tiers. I have my core, then my good friends I hang with sometimes, my holiday and work friends and vice versa. Of course the core circle always has first crack.

It seems other practice similar behaviors. If you’re not getting invited to outings and such, you may not be in the core circle.

I like just having friends and such period. The primary purpose of a core circle and a guest list is to see and confirm the ones you can count on. I covered this in further detail in “From Darkness To Sunshine”.

Also remember that guest list could change for various reasons. It’s ok because the ones that truly care aren’t going anywhere.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine

We’re officially in May now, almost into summertime and the halfway point of the year. Many are still criticizing and judging others like Bill Cosby, Kanye West, etc. Also, plenty of evil is being spread everywhere and tempers are flaring as the weather gets warmer.

But think deeply for just a few seconds before you judge someone so harshly?

What if it were your relative that were spazzing out and going through a mental illness related crisis?

What if were your grandfather or uncle that has been accused and convicted of sexual assault after 20 years with no concrete proof?

What if you got constantly excluded from certain group dinners and outings by the local in crowd/high school type clique?

What if you didn’t get to go to prom and wanted to?

What if you used to be an awesome, fit person but are not in the midst of fighting back?

What if you worked hard all the time and you didn’t get noticed?

What if you encounter a person that you like that always complains about no one good being out there, yet they regularly curve you?

We should all really think before we speak or type. It’s like one of my teachers once said, we tend to have diarrhea of the mouth.

It’s time to do less talking, criticizing, and more listening and praying. People are people too so miss me with all of the high and mighty nonsense.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine