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I think this is where exclusion gets confused with keeping the peace and not dealing with drama.

The most profound thing I heard on the final weekend of June was “it’s not a good idea to hang with those you wouldn’t invite to your own house.” That really stuck to my ribs and is so true.

Now I am all about bringing folks together in a controlled, safe environment. But facts are that some people do not mesh and have no business even being in public. They are fighting demons, are tired, mentally constipated, and simply lack home training.

You have to really be careful who you deal with and how much. My birthday is coming in about a week and a half and please believe, anyone that causes drama is not welcome.

This is like making a dish and having the proper ingredients. You don’t want to mix mustard and whipping cream, for example. You need a good, healthy, tasty balance.

It’s ok to go out and have fun. But if you sense drama and bad vibes, it’s cool to stay a little while and then go home. You have to know your limits are more than simply alcohol.

Everyone isn’t going to live life on the same level and standards you are and you have to be aware of that. Keep the positive vibes flowing as we enter into the second half of 2019.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

I’ve heard stories growing up about how your friend’s parents and even close relatives’s parents were all close. I am here to say it is true.

One of my mom’s closest cousins had three sons. My brother and I were cool and close with them as well. We often spent the night at each other’s houses as children and saw each other on weekends as our parents stayed close through the years.

Present day, I don’t have children of course but the cousins do. I typically get invited whenever one of the children have a birthday party.

Playing with the kids and watching the kids and my cousins as fathers play with them really warms my heart and takes me back. It reminds us that we can stay close and continue playing.

Therefore, remember how you interact with others, especially around your kids. They pick up on vibes early on and will usually choose to keep associating with certain people.

It’s important to set this foundation so they won’t grow up lonely and not feeling like they have anyone to turn to. Keep in touch and as close as you can to your loved ones.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

Office/workplace gossip is everywhere. Chances are if you’re getting together with one or more coworkers, the tea is getting spilled.

It may not be pleasant when the tea is spilled upon you.

You should be wary of workplace gossip, especially around Happy Hour when some are inebriated and don’t realize what they are saying..

It’s often best to mind your own business, stay out of the loop and be around people that are straight forward with you.

You don’t need a group of people chattering and then become quiet when they see you coming. You can already dictate what is next.

Definitely try to socialize with coworkers off the clock but remember you do have to work with them again. Sometimes less really is more regarding drama or anything not directly related to your paycheck or job performance.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

We grow older and mature. Well, most of us do anyway.

You then have those that are callous, childish and unwilling to put the past behind them.

I know a group of guys that are basically the male version of the Plastics from the movie Mean Girls. And I mean grown men in their 30s that have careers, children, etc. One is married, another is divorced.

Their influence is so strong that not many can see that they are foul, except for maybe one. But he keeps entertaining them. Another is mentally ill and needs his medication. The last one is simply a lame that constantly practices social exclusion. In reality, they are all useless, mean cowards.

Try your best to recognize this behavior as this is passive bullying, know your worth and stay away. Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff. Be cool and dry.

You won’t get along with everyone. Once you give it a try, let it go, fall back and hang with those on your maturity level.

Only 3 Musketeers I want to see is a candy bar. Good things don’t always come in threes.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

Juwan Howard being named the new head football coach at Michigan is really big and inspiring.

He not only used his connections and Fab 5 prowess to even be considered, he had to beat another type of giant. The Fab 5’s awesome legacy was basically erased due to scandal and payments to certain players by boosters. For more than two decades, the relationship between the school and the Fab 5 members was very strained.

Now everything is full circle with Howard leading the same Big Blue program he played for. He’s not excluded any longer.

It would have been even more unfair had they did this, especially since he didn’t take any illegal money nor benefits. He was a model player and student before, during and after his Michigan days. It seemed to be an across the board blackball.

Howard’s story gives people hope that times does heal all wounds and when you want something bad enough, you shouldn’t give up.

Perhaps now this will lead to an eventual Fab 5 reunion at Michigan.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

We are closing out another holiday weekend and I see many people out on vacations, gatherings and the like. What I see is a lot of female friend groups out. The fellas seem to be lacking here.

I honestly don’t have the exact answer but I have some theories

1. It’s harder to get guys together, at least in an organized fashion

2. We’re not as big on pictures and capturing every moment

3. We simply don’t get together in the same frequency as women do. Rarely do you see men travel in packs. When me and my dudes went on a cruise early last year, we were the only all male crew on the boat.

I’ve seen guys get together at weddings, cookouts, playing games and sporting events. Outside of that, the list is short.

Fellas, we need to do better in this regard. We’re losing too many people in various ways. We love to slam and bash each other, rather than praise and hang out. It’s time we do more of the latter.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

Everyone needs that go to person, whether we are atop the world or are down and out.

Who is your person? Are you anybody’s person?

I was reminded this week of all this with some family and even local situations that required me to help out.

I am always willing to lend a helping hand and look for long term solutions to certain problems. One thing I like to do is gather with like minded individuals, especially ones who specialize in certain area which require my assistance and expertise.

Provide whatever you can to that person: advice, prayers, food, clothing, a listening ear. No one is too good to receive help and we could all benefit from some.

If there is an itch for you to assist and be someone’s person, hit me up and I will put you in touch with certain people to assist. Each one, teach one, reach one!

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

Many love playing video games, especially fighter games where they can match wits and skills with other people.

I have had my years and times with games in general, from childhood to adulthood. I briefly came out of retirement against and with some guys at the coffeeshop. Some are deep into fighting games. And the good ones like Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat. Currently the main game they are playing is MK11 (wow have there been that many sequels?).

They could have overlooked me since I don’t play much anymore, I just talk and know the game. But no they extended an invite for me to dust off the cobwebs. I won’t lie, it was fun and it brought back a lot of memories. I plan on playing again and more often, just not like I once did.

It means a lot to include people, even when they may not be interested. Just leave the door open and don’t assume they wouldn’t want a part in it.

We need more people like these gamers. I like how genuine they are and want to give everyone a chance to play. It’s the opposite of many games and it’s a great thing.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes

This is a continued preview into my second book “Scared Eyes”

There are ten basic types of bullies. I will name them and elaborate.

1. The traditional school bully

They are the ones that beat the inferior up, take their lunch money and simply make school tough for many people. It seems no one is meeting at 3pm anymore to fight this bully or even trying to prevent them from being who they are.

2. The work/office/plant bully

This person is worse than any horrible boss. You may feel like you can’t do anything on your own, even talk to the cute receptionist. without them interfering. They have a lot of pull and you don’t feel like they can be stopped. I have seen many people over the years leave a job due to a work bully.

3. Social media/keyboard warrior

To me, these are the worst and probably most deadly. They say and do hurtful things online to you. They troll your posts, try and embarrass you and have others along for the ride. These awful people have caused many children to drop out of school and even take their own lives. It’s ironic how Zuckerberg was a victim of bullying at one time but hasn’t come up with a more constructive manner of dealing with it.

4. The alpha friend bully.

This is also the “frenemie”. You hang with them, talk everyday, go to cool events. But guess what, they leave you out, persuade you into going places or doing things you don’t wish to do.

5. The person who has seen every show/movie and you should also

This goes for Game Of Thrones, Power, Avengers, etc fans. They are all in your face about seeing this or that show and when you do watch it they’re all like “you’re late” or “about time!” Urrmm I’m confused. How are you late to watching something that will be around forever?

6. The fat shamer

This is the person that always notices when someone puts on weight or gets wider. They weren’t praising you when you were slim and trim and at your best shape. They shame not only overweight folks but people in general.

7. The pretty, popular girl

Think the movie “Mean Girls” and Regina George. You dress like her, eat what she eats, talk to who she tells you to talk to. Eved heard of a dictatorship? This is basically what many young girls and some women undergo everyday just to be and remain popular.

8. The star athlete/fit freak

Everyone seems to love the jock and wants to be them. This includes even the woman with the perfect butt, the guy with the chiseled body, or the person you run with that is super fast. You feel excluded and out of place when you don’t fit in to their standards and don’t fit the bar they have raised.

9. The MLM huns

Multi level marketing companies have grown and have spawned groups of reps that hawk, harrass and even bully others into joining their company,buying their products and selling as much as you can. When you can’t, the “huns” tease and harrass you. Now this doesn’t apply to all MLMs or reps, just the huns that repeatedly call you “hun” before guilting you into being part of their venture.

10. The overzealous church members/pastor

Church has gotten bad for a lot of people and if you live long enough, one or more will hurt you. Church people, even lost pastors, can be worst than sinners. Pastors are bullying their members into giving most of their money, going to all of the revival and evangelical meetings and even not going to the restroom during service. Let’s not get started on the members. In short, some of the most mean people are inside the House of the Lord.

#imjustdrew #scaredeyes

Bullying and social exclusion have been around since the beginning of time. It appears only now in the information age that more people are noticing it and taking action.

Well I have a lifetime of noticing it.

I was picked on and bullied as a child. You name it, I was bullied for it. This includes my clothes, my race, stutter, hair, being poor, overweight, slow, unathletic, smart, not getting girls, not having a car. I was even picked on for holding my fork the “wrong” way at a restaurant in Virginia.

Present day, it’s more subliminal and passive, mostly through social media and trolls. People try to verbally attack and assault me. They can’t stand where I am in life, my fitness journey, already having a book out and writing another, having friends, and a great turnaround story.

In short, jealously and hate runs rampant.

But believe me, I don’t take it sitting down. I fight back mentally, physically, etc. In the sixth grade I was actually into four fights, all on the grounds of defending myself. My mom stayed up at the school so much she decided to start volunteering and chaperoning school field trips and activities. She even won Volunteer Of The Year once and this was a woman that went hard for both of her sons. She would try and talk to parents and teachers first. Failing that, she would catch them in public, by phone or at a school activity. She was built for handling any type of bullies.

This has resonated onto me. I may still get down and defeated. But I have the tools and experience to handle anyone that thinks it’s ok to pick at someone for a deficiency or simply to be mean.

Bullying and social exclusion comes in many forms as will be discussed. But this is what this series and my second book “Scared Eyes” are devoted to.

Buckle up, it will be quite a ride!

#imjustdrew #scaredeyes