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I thought we were catching a vibe. We are both loving and alive. I guess it just wasn’t the time. We seem to match and sync like a rhyme. Your messages are distorted and mixed. How can we get this fixed? First of all! First of all, FIRST OF ALL!!! How about we talk? You come to me and want to balk. We all have our moods and days. I know this is but a phase. Please don’t allow a flaw or excuse to deter what we are. I still like you from afar. We aren’t together because second of all, you push me away. I don’t know what to say day to day. I’m digging on you and we know each other, present and past. Our bond will last. There’s no hard feelings or hate. Look here I know you don’t like being late. Therefore I do want date. So third of all, if you’re gonna act like you care. Let’s go out if you dare. We both like coffee so let’s get a cup. We’ll chat and drink up. I’m getting that hug and will be all clean. We both know you ain’t mean. You are sarcastic and witty. We are both frugal and thrifty. I hope I don’t get another back pat. I want a good hug where I smell all of you. We would both enjoy that. That would lead to last of all,…

Last week, the Lord called home one of my long time friends, Shalonda “Shally” Palmer. She kept her circle tight but if you were blessed to know her, it was quite the positive experience. I along with others are still in grief over losing this special, kind person.

Shalonda was a woman of few words (unless she was correcting mine, insider) and stoic. She was very brilliant, hard working, organized, honest, witty and determined. She has an awesome story: coming from a single parent home to graduate from Converse College. She later landed a position with Milliken in chemistry, was married and had 3 beautiful young queens. She was close with her mother, daughters, brother, her circle of long time school friends and select others. Shalonda would flash that infectious smile when she was cool with you or when it involved family, wellness, or her beloved Green Bay Packers.

Shalonda was very caring also, never forgetting a birthday or milestone, understanding of your struggle and simply determined and hardworking. She was very humble about any accomplishments and would put God, her mom, children and others first. She loved to laugh, think positively and was awesome to talk to. Shalonda always knew what to say and how to say it, even if you didn’t agree. However, if she was wrong or felt she wronged you, she was very apologetic. She also ensured I wasn’t excluded from anything and although we joked about it, she accepted that I didn’t like exclusion.

I won’t speak much on her struggle/illness out of respect for her and her loved ones. Her and I spoke at length about it and she never stopped fighting. Being the woman she was, she wasn’t going to let it take her out easily. 4 years later, she earned her wings and told us all that we would see her later.

Rest in Power to a real woman, mother, daughter, friend and human being. I will always celebrate you, your life, legacy and of course watch my grammar. I will miss you my dear friend, from your smile to your words.

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #stillcountry #scaredeyes

30 days have passed. I’m still thinking of you heavily, how long will this last. I want this pain to be done. I know now you’re not the one. I can see why people keep returning to familiar loves. This situation is not yielding any doves. I can still sense your energy beauty and smile. I would still sit and talk for a while. There’s no hard feelings but I know this isn’t healthy. I’m still healing and this is heavy. I’m avoiding you and you’re doing the same. Respecting each other’s space is the game. You did present quite a blueprint. Great skin, teeth, body, persona, even eyes. You sit on a throne of lies. I already know how this would end. No one can spoil this, I am out of time to lend. There is no room to bend. I am sticking to my brain. My heart still desires you but I know there’s too much pain. I will continue to recover and heal. Waiting on the proper person that will close the deal. She will give me those desires and similar feelings. I will no longer be involved with back alley dealings

You are definitely bored and sad. Who ever told you that you were bad. Check your ego at the door. How do you expect to achieve more. You are conflicted and messy. Way worse than any Marvel or DC villian. Meanwhile I’m chilling. You want to come for me? Have your facts straight and directly. I need you to ghostwrite for me. You definitely can construct a story. All you want is the glory. Leave that mess in the land of the hill. You’re not getting this thrill. Please stay away from here. You even ran off the deer. We can correlate but that’s all. You’re evicted from my head, it’s last call. It’s truly gametime now, you will see. Time to get it done for real. Yep.

All you have running in your brain is doubt. Doubt has run a marathon because you were counted out. You can’t answer anyone because of fear. You need to heal, release the anger and let the Lord steer. If you don’t want to do something say that! Communication is key there and here. Tell that person what’s on your mind. I understand you have to stay on your grind. If I don’t get invited, you already know I’m asking why. It’s simple: don’t forget me and lie. We all need to talk more. Take our phones off of DND. Answer the door. Just be friendly and honest! Own up to your faults and you will have more. Don’t be a glutton for abuse or leave anyone out. Before you know, here comes the doubt. Take that extra time to talk. They will eventually learn it was your fault

July has many wonderful things. The pool, cookouts, the 4th, my birthday and the mosquitoe stings. That was a reach for a rhyme. I am at the age where I can’t reach for a dime. Lies are covered underneath the growing grass. It’s not from where you think. I guess it’s not a bad time to be fass. Remember flowers grow from stuff that does stink. Saying that, you showed who you are. I definitely saw better from afar. I have found out I am loved. Difficult and demanding yes but I am me and you are you. I was very sad and blue. Better times are ahead as July is over and you were not true. You were a month and a lesson. I guess there’s no confessing. The 44th solar return gave me another hope and desire. There lights another fire. I am a new man indeed. You helped plant the seed. Don’t expect the thanks since you are the compost. No credit so don’t boast. You may be as beautiful as the coast. Even the coast has sand and that feeling lasts a month at most. Fall is where it’s at. Bonfires, Halloween, the fair, football, all of that. July is in the books. You can’t fool everyone with your looks. Yes this is wordy. Apparently you don’t like big light and nerdy. I know someone that does so I’m fine. Really I am, I will make her mine. This will be the Holy Grail, the real. Margarine versus butter. Fast food versus homemade. All that did was made me sick and my heart flutter. I will be my best. Now it’s time to close out July and rest

You had me at hello, screaming at goodbye. I fortunately don’t want to die. I felt hurt and numb. 7 days passed and I also felt dumb. Outside, you’re a nubian queen. Inside you make me wanna scream. Ignorance! Flaky. Snaky. Sneaky. Well you do like money and are loosely into sales. I can’t believe I fell for your sales. I may or may not have bars. One thing for sure is you could sell used cars. Your nubian skin is appealing and glowing. Your hair in any style is lovely and flowing. Too bad the inside is corrupt. Your heart and soul are bankrupt. I can see why you’re alone. You don’t respect anything set in stone. Please stay where you are and we’ll keep it moving. I will continue grooving. I honestly wish you well. Good riddance and you can find another untruth to sell. I’ll sleep well tonight and I don’t know about you. Guilty consciences are real and they can reach you too. Every nubian woman isn’t a queen. They are simply a nightmare, a dark, terrible dream.

The fire inside me burns deep. I thought hard when I made that leap. I knew it was a risk. I didn’t mind since I wanted more than a kiss. I was willing to be cool with hanging. The times definitely are a changing. Now I’m hurt, bitter, angry and alone. This hits me right to the bone. You do no good by being fake. You couldn’t even remember my birthday cake. My grandpa said year ago watch those that smile a lot. They’re often in pain, up to something and are something they’re not. Think of clowns, Robin Williams and the Joker. I don’t want to be the poker. This is the bear and I have to tell. I want this battle inside of me to dispel. I want to feel joy and happy again. You can still do it; we can both win. I forgive easily but I will not be the fool. You will get mad and call me a tool. Doesn’t matter because I’m not at war here. I just want my forever dear. Heck all I asked for was dinner and drinks. Are you getting rid of the bar? You will see me from afar. Oh you will party but with me it’s a battle. I won’t be treated like cattle. Bye for now, I must retreat. This is more devastating than the August heat

You don’t seem to get me. Desire me, continue to live care free. I just wanted to hang and vibe. You make it seem like this is a bribe. I can see if there’s no appeal. I can’t see why you couldn’t just be real. Being nice is cool but honesty is king. I called and you let your phone ring. You partied with other guys while a real man awaited. Was my birthday wish met to be belated? It seems so. I can see the answer is no. Will I give you another chance? Unsure if my heart can take more hurt in advance. Give me another sign, reach out. You leave too much doubt. I think we may have to separate. You are always too late. I need a woman not an unsure child. Your headspace is much too wild. I need love and peace. You bring me drama despair and a lease. I want to buy and you’re not letting me rent. Got my nose wide open and neck all bent. Either way, it doesn’t look well. As always, time will tell. I will heal and be ok. I’m a great guy and I don’t care what you say

This poem is very interpretative and open but it’s dedicated to the memory of my recently deceased friend Big Mike Smith. He definitely was a man’s man that wasn’t afraid of emotion and neither am I.

The side of your face and that smile. Why couldn’t we just keep you for a while? You lit up the room like a festival of lights. You braved the storms, fought many fights. There were no enemies in sight. Making for a smooth and easy plight. I’m happy that I knew you and you were here. I will definitely hold your memory dear. Game films and pictures are gold. There will continue to be many tales of you told. You may have went to your forever home. Your presence and vibe will forever roam. Wherever there’s a football, towel or even a star. We all know you’re not far. None of wanted you to go. You left so fast you didn’t want us to know. You can be the true star from above. Always having the shine and love. You will forever be missed. Now you have your crown and no more being dismissed.

Rest in Power my guy and thanks for all of the kind words!

#imjustdrew #fromdarktosunshine #scaredeyes