All you have running in your brain is doubt. Doubt has run a marathon because you were counted out. You can’t answer anyone because of fear. You need to heal, release the anger and let the Lord steer. If you don’t want to do something say that! Communication is key there and here. Tell that person what’s on your mind. I understand you have to stay on your grind. If I don’t get invited, you already know I’m asking why. It’s simple: don’t forget me and lie. We all need to talk more. Take our phones off of DND. Answer the door. Just be friendly and honest! Own up to your faults and you will have more. Don’t be a glutton for abuse or leave anyone out. Before you know, here comes the doubt. Take that extra time to talk. They will eventually learn it was your fault